Parenting twins comes with its own set of unique challenges. In the twin relationship, there are often feelings of co-dependence and over-dependence. For example, at times an “older” twin may feel like they need to take on the “nurturer” or “protector” role.  However, a twin’s role can also flip flop based on the duo’s emotional needs. At times, twins may also feel like they can’t have feelings separate from one another which can prove challenging or at times problematic as well as many other things.

When considering counseling for your twin or twins it is important to clear your mind of any preconceived notions or expectations as to how the process will go. Whatever the reason may be to bring you and your twins to counseling aim to be flexible with goals and needs as you journey through the counseling process.  This may be challenging but by allowing each twin time to reveal where and how they are in the healing process you can support their processing and growth in life’s tough moments.

Twins may need sessions together or individually depending on the goals of therapy.  But regardless of individual or joint counseling sessions, as a parent, don’t forget to check in with each twin individually about how they feel their counseling is going. Giving time and space to each twin is important in supporting individuation and growth in life.  As you journey to understand your twin’s individual feelings it cultivates resilience and support as they process and work through big issues in life.

Things to consider as you support and nurture your twin’s feelings and individuality. 

  • Resist the urge to lump their feelings and punishments together.
  • Talk with them not about them when people ask questions about twin stuff.
  • Cultivate individual relationships with each twin by spending a few moments of alone time with each child regularly.
  • Celebrate the unique aspects of being a twin along with talking about challenges regularly!
Susan Stutzman

Susan Stutzman

Owner | Child Therapist | LCPC, RPT

Parenting is hard! But you don’t have to do it alone. I work with children and parents to resolve emotional conflict, cultivate healing, and nurture hope.

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