As a parent, when you find out your kid has been bullying other kids what should you do? How should you respond?
Parenting a child who has been or is prone to acting as a bully can be challenging. Kids with strong personalities push around kids every day with weaker personalities.
Don’t ignore this behavior in a child but meet it with redirection. Challenge your child as they are growing and learning about themselves in relationship how to use their strength appropriately.
When your kid is the bully I would encourage you to Engage with your child, Problem Solve with your child and Empower them.
Engage with your child by asking to hear their side of the story. Listen purposefully and try not to shame them and respond genuinely. This could look like saying: “Wow, what you did sounds really intimidating and powerful. I wonder how Suzie felt.”
Problem Solve with your child as an act of helping them find new ways to express their feelings and personality. It is important for your child to stop the act of bullying but you need to help your child come up with other ways to express their feelings.
Helping your child feel the weight of their actions and/or words is important when they have bullied another child.
Set appropriate consequences for what they did as well as for moving forward:
This isn’t just taking something that is important to your child away. Consequences can also be adding things in. Try consequences as:
- Adding in a service to others that you can do with your child such as volunteering
- Adding in reading books about feelings and actions
Empower by Reframing: Help your child to use their strong personality (not ‘mean’ personality) to lead change. Lean into who they are, spend more time with your child and their feelings. If you want to see your child change, you need to be more involved in who they are and shaping them. Your job is to empower them to find and act out new ways to feel powerful without bullying.
Parents, Bullying can cause grave consequences. The platforms today in which bullying is found are many. Being proactive when you find out your child has bullied another child is critical to your child’s life.
Don’t wait to respond and experience your child being held accountable by the law for tragic mental and emotional abuse to another child.
Give your child ways to work out their personalities in a positive way, to learn what real strength can look and act like. Don’t let your kids go it alone, and by all means, don’t parent alone!!
Owner | Child Therapist | LCPC, RPT
Most children are having to navigate countless adjustments and transitions. Too often, it’s the little everyday changes that spark big behaviors in kiddos- getting ready for breakfast, brushing teeth, putting clothes away, turning off the tablet, or going to get into...
In this week’s episode of the Parent Matters Podcast, Susan is joined by Richard Capriola, a former Addictions Counselor for Menninger Clinic and author of the book, The Addicted Child: A Parent's Guide to Adolescent Substance Abuse. They tackle the tough subject of...
In this week’s episode of the Parent Matters Podcast, Susan is joined by Dr. Sandy Kruse, Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Director of the Heritage Diagnostic and Assessment Center. They talk about how to know when your child needs a neuropsychological evaluation...
DISCLOSURE: This post contains affiliate links, meaning we get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, at no cost to you. In this week’s episode of the Parent Matters Podcast, Dr. Lauren Smith defines ADHD, discusses co-occurring...
We help anxious kids and frustrated parents. We serve Hinsdale & the Western Suburbs of Chicago.
Made with ♥︎ in Hinsdale, Illinois for Chicago
Built By Brand Your Practice.
© 2021 Kid Matters Counseling, P.C.