5 Ways to Help Your Child With Sports Anxiety

As a parent, watching your child struggle with sports anxiety can be heart-wrenching. What used to be fun now brings stress, tears, and self-doubt. You might be asking:

“Why is my child so anxious before every game?” or
“How can I help them enjoy their sport again?”

You’re not alone, and neither is your child.

Hi, I’m Carrie Madden Choquette, a Child & Adolescent Therapist at Kid Matters Counseling. As a former Division 1 soccer player, I understand both the emotional rollercoaster of youth sports and how to support kids through it.

Whether it’s the fear of making mistakes, managing pressure from coaches or teammates, or recovering from injury, sports anxiety is real and can be overwhelming.

Here are 5 practical, therapist-backed ways you can help your child navigate sports anxiety and build lasting confidence.

1. Normalize the Nerves

Anxiety before a big game is normal. Even elite athletes feel it. What kids need to hear is: “There’s nothing wrong with you for feeling this way.”

Say something like:
“It makes sense that you’re nervous, you care about doing well. That’s actually a strength.”

When we validate their experience, kids feel understood, not ashamed. And that’s the first step to managing those nerves effectively.

2. Focus on Effort, Not Outcome

It’s easy to get caught up in scores, stats, or wins. But when we only praise outcomes, kids start tying their self-worth to performance.

After a game, try asking:
“What was one thing you felt proud of today?”
Or say “I noticed you kept going even when it got tough. That was brave.”

Shift the focus from Did you win? to How did you grow? This builds resilience and internal confidence, two essential tools for emotional wellness.

3. Practice Pre-Game Regulation

Help your child create a calming routine before games or practices.

This could include:

• Deep breathing
• Listening to a pump-up playlist
• Using grounding techniques

Consistency creates safety, and over time, their body will start to feel calmer just by entering that routine.

4. Be a Safe Landing Zone

After a tough game, or a bad performance, your child doesn’t need a lecture. They need connection.

Try using a phrase like:
“I’m so proud of you for showing up today. How are you feeling about it?”

When you lead with curiosity instead of criticism, you teach them that their worth isn’t tied to their performance.

5. Seek Support When Needed

If your child’s anxiety is starting to affect their sleep, school, or love of the sport, it might be time for professional support.

And that’s okay.

At Kid Matters, we create a safe, supportive environment for kids to process their emotions and build the tools they need to thrive, on and off the field.

If you’re ready to help your child feel more confident, more regulated, and more themselves, I’d love to walk alongside you.

Schedule an appointment at Kid Matters Counseling today. Let’s help your child play with joy again.