3 Tips for a Successful Bedtime Routine

If bedtime in your house feels like a nightly battle: tears, stalling, and meltdowns. Don’t worry. Many families are facing this too.

Maybe your child suddenly “needs one more thing”…
Maybe they can’t fall asleep without you lying next to them…
Or maybe, the second you turn off the lights, the anxiety kicks in.

The truth is: bedtime is hard for a lot of kids.

Why? Because it requires separation, stillness, and surrender. All things that can feel really big and scary when you’re little. But here’s the good news: there’s a way to bring peace back to your evenings.

Hi, I’m Carrie Madden Choquette, a Child and Adolescent Therapist here at Kid Matters Counseling. Today, I want to share 3 therapist-backed tips to create a bedtime routine that actually works, and helps your child feel safe, secure, and settled.

1. Create a Consistent Routine

Kids thrive on structure. When bedtime looks different every night, their nervous system stays on high alert.

Pick a predictable sequence and stick to it. For example:
Bath → Pajamas → Books → Snuggles → Lights out.

The goal is to create a rhythm their brain begins to associate with winding down. Over time, the routine itself becomes the cue for sleep.

2. Offer Comfort Through Connection, Not Control

When children resist bedtime, it’s often because they need more connection, not more discipline.

Instead of power struggles, lean into reassurance. Try this:
“I’ll be right here in the hallway folding laundry. You’re safe, and I’m close.”

Simple, soothing statements help kids regulate their fear of separation, without reinforcing dependency.

3. Regulate Before You Expect Them to Rest

Many kids aren’t calm enough to sleep when we tell them to go to bed.
So we have to help them regulate first.

This could look like:

• 2–3 minutes of deep belly breathing together
• A calming visualization (like floating on a cloud)
• Or using a “worry jar” to write down any thoughts that feel too big to carry into sleep

The more settled their body, the more restful their night.

If bedtime continues to feel like a battle, it might be more than routine, it might be anxiety, overstimulation, or something deeper. At Kid Matters Counseling, we help children understand their emotions and build the internal tools they need to feel safe, even in the dark.

If you’re ready to bring peace back to your evenings, and support your child’s emotional wellbeing, we’d love to help. Schedule an appointment with us today.

Together, we can create a bedtime your whole family can look forward to.